Ivan

Words aren’t enough. Nothing ever will be.
I know every dog is the very best boy. Ivan though, he was something else. I started loving Ivan when he was just a baby. Ivan wasn’t mine. He was my friends dog. I had an instant connection with him, though. I had never had my own dog before. I wasn’t a “dog person”. But for the next few years after spending time with him, he and I grew a bond I never knew was possible.
When I’d go visit with Ivan, he’d immediately want to be next to me. When I would leave my friends house, Ivan would escape and run to my car door. He’d look up at me almost asking to please let me come home with you. He always wanted to be with me. Driving away each time, I’d think about that sweet boy.
When he needed a babysitter, I’d be the first to volunteer. We’d have a few days and sometimes a week or more to be best friends. Cuddles, walks and sleeping next to each other. He was a happy boy. Returning him home would break both of our hearts but I knew I’d see him again soon.
For years, I would scour the internet looking for my own Ivan. I would search and search. “Long legged Pomeranians” “long legged, long snout Poms”, “fox like Pomeranians”. I would find hundreds of dogs, but none of them were the same.
One day, I got a call from my friend who told me they were going through a lot and that Ivan would be better suited to be with me. I could NOT believe it. He wanted that sweet baby to be mine? Finally? I told him he could come over and bring Ivan to me that very day. Ivan showed up, saw me, and was just as excited to see me as he was each time before. My sweet baby boy was finally home. My best friend said it best. “I can not believe after all of these years of searching and looking for an Ivan, that you get the real deal.” I still can’t believe I was ever this lucky.
The next years were filled with cuddles, laughs, love, and endless pup cups. The things I did and bought to make him happy, I can’t even list here as it would turn this post from 100 pages to 1000. I will say, there was a $200 throw blanket I just had to have a couple of years ago. Don’t ask me why, but I needed it. After two days, guess who took that $200 blanket and made it theirs? Yep, Ivan. He deserved it though.
I have never known any sort of love like a dogs. I can’t even begin to really sit and think about a world without him. But as of March 21st 2022, I had to face that thought.
After 12 years of being the very very best boy, Ivan was tired and needed to go. Keeping him any longer would have been selfish. I will never wake up TOO early to him dancing around trying to wake me up again. I won’t hear his SHRILL barks every time someone comes to the door again. I won’t pet his sweet little snoot, ask him for another “tiss” (kiss) again and I won’t be able to tell him every night that I hope he dreams of running and playing and baby carrots (his favorite treat) again. But I know that he had the best life. He made my life so much better and so much more full.
I’m sorry you’re gone now, bubba. You leaving will sit with me for the rest of my life. I hope you are running, rolling in the snow and eating all of the carrots, tortilla chips and nuggets. You’ll always be my little poopy butt. I hope you had the time of your life. 🐶 💔